It is coming for you. You can’t beat death. It’s un-fucking-defeated. And if you fight it, it will humiliate you. It’ll chain you to a bed and make someone have to wipe your shitty ass. It’ll make you forget who your own fucking kids are. It takes your dignity and it whips its’ dick out and pisses on it. When you’re younger and it comes for you, it’s worth it to fight it and suffer through the humiliation. When you’re older, what the fuck does it get you to go through that?

All That’s Left When You Die, by JUSTIN HALPERN, co-creator of the upcoming sitcom Surviving Jack. He’s also the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Shit My Dad Says, and partially responsible for the bad TV show based on it that you hated.